Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups, his personal trainer designed a regiment for him that didn't involve them.

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

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Whats a black persons favorite flavored cake? fried chicken.

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What do you call a guy who hangs around with musicians? A groupie.

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Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

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You know how to torture Hellen Keller? -No. Put a plunger in the toilet.

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Why was there two girls at the movie? They wanted to see the movie together.

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A pedophile walks into a daycare

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Luckily Captain America was able to rescue Hitler just before he was trapped in the ice for many years... Thanks to his brave efforts the war continued many more years! Captain America under ice: Why do I get the feeling I did something wrong? Hmm... 30 years later Cap: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMNNNNNN!!!!!! Moral: On ice, tickets sold out... no clothing required, ladies only, None under 16!

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what the difference between matthew and a retard? The retard can do math

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he, he's blind.

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have you ever tasted ethiopian food? ..... neither have they

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Roses are red, Violets are violet. You guys really suck at making poems...

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What did the Man say to the elephant Nothing this man does not speak, the elephant does though

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None, now stop hallutinating about wood chuck.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Molest them

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"Hell nahhh I called shotgun" -Rosa Parks

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There is a bird and a squirrel in a tree. Later, as a farmer walked past, the squirrel ate the bird.

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A Chinese man walked into a bar. He now has a minor concussion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from its imminent death. It was being chased by a dog with a shark's head and chainsaws for legs. It was only delaying the inevitable.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock knock? Who's there? Orange. Orange WHO? Knock knock? WHO'S THERE?! Orange Williams. Sorry, I suffer from debilitating OCD.

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Ouch.

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Why did the donkey fall over Because it had A diabetic foot infection and had to have a non traumatic amputation of the lower hind leg.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops