Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure Niiiiggggeeee what is the last letterThe last letter is NOT and R! Its an R. Good job honey

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A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

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What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

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24!

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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There was a peice of lasagna. He knew he tasted great. So he constantly feared for his life.

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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Two men walked into a bar. The third transformed into a duck and flew away.

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A minor walks into a bar. He's not very good at limbo.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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myspace

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Why did the black man order a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken? His wife just died in a tragic car accident and he is a horrible cook.

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What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

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A white man walked in da hood aaand he never came back

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Matt Damon

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Why did your mom cross the road? She Tripped and started rolling

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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Q. What is a brown cow called? A. A cow.

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What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

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Where's my tractor?

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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