Roses are red violets are blue i got two fingers just for you/by kw

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sooo.how do you get a bonner when your in a room with lady gaga???? you tell lady gaga to turn around and you think of brittany spears bending over get it nahhh probably not

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what is worse then going to school farlingaye

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A mama cow was sitting in the barn with her 3 babies. The first baby cow goes "Mom, why did you name me Daisy?" "Because a Daisy landed on your head when you were born" The second calf goes "Mom, why did you name me Rose?" "Because a Rose petal landed on your head when you where born." The third calf says "Aasdfghoiuytfghjkuiy" The mom replies "Shut up brick"

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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what do you say to a black man with a Porsche? "hey man, i like your car."

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Why did the homeless man get skin cancer Because he didn't have a home so the Suns rays had been directed towards him For 3 years and he was to poor to purchase Sun screen

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What happened when the turtle rolled over on his back? It proceeded to die because it couldnt find a way to roll over. An African tribe then decided to make the recently decised turtle into a delicious soup that lasted him and his family three days.

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Whats the difference between an elephant and a tomato. You put tomatos in a salad.

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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

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What happened when the homosexual man came out of the closet? He was congratulated for winning the hide and seek contest.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your ugly

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What is harder than Jenga? Being a quadraplegic.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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Nobody cares.

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why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

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A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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Fuzzy Whuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Whuzzy has no hair. Fuzzy Whuzzy has Cancer.

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There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

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How do you kill a blonde? you shoot her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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