Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't little Sarah smell the roses? Her face was mauled by a grizzly bear

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why do people like the number 69? Because some people have favorite numbers, and 69 is a number.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why does dan leave Amy? Because dan is in another relationship and did not want to be unlawful to Amy.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

An Asian man man couldn't find his family, he is deeply concerned and contacts the missing persons unit.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats the difference between a bad skydiver and a bad golfer? The bad golfer looses the game, drives home, and falls asleep. The bad skydiver dies in a terrible accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

can i have a cookie no diabeto!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A blonde walks into a bar... Typical

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your mama's teeth are so yellow... She should think about scheduling an appointment at a local dentist's office.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why didn't the firefighter put out the fire? Because he wasn't a very good firefighter.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats worse than swinging a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't the baby boy read the book? He had eye cancer and was therefore blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the abortion say to the womb? I'm outta here.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Customer: "I can't turn my computer on." Phone support: "Do you have power?" Customer: "Yes." Phone support: "Do you have fingers?" Customer: "No."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what does the sloth say to dylan sedgwick nothing dylan is the sloth

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Look out there's a bus in front of you

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: Why did the rich Wallstreet business man move into Harlem? A: Because sex offenders weren't welcome anywhere else.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

whats worse then the worst thing that happened in your life? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is smelly and sticky A poo

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? There are many circumstances that could affect the outcome of the situation. One of them is whether or not the given people have or will soon obtain a ladder. In this case, the lightbulb could take more time than needed to be screwed in and effectively changed. Another key factor in the situation is the number of people. If there are enough people to reach the ceiling without a ladder, the lightbulb could be screwed in sooner or later than asked by the owner of the facility in which the lightbulb socket is installed. Finally, the height of the persons given is a crucial point in this situation. The people may be tall, thus allowing there to be fewer people needed. The people could be short and need a greater number of people than if the people were, perhaps, a bit taller. All in all, I'd say about 1-2.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? Because it wanted to be a monkey? Why did the John fall out of the tree? Because he has no arms and legs because he suffers from a severe case of lepracy. Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by three monkeys, a fridge and a boy with no limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops