There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? A naked chinese man jumping out of your trunk to beat you with a crowbar.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana. Go away.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

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A girl is on the phone with her boyfriend the boy friend has a rash the girl said put ointment on it ointment cures everything the boyfriend responded not cancer.

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Yo mama is so hot that she needed to lower the temperature

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A black guy walks into a shoe store and buys a pair of size 14 shoes. The cashier smiles and says: so is it true what they say about big feet? The black guy laughs for a moment and responds: yeah it's really hard to find socks that fit.

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Two penguins are in a bathtub, one penguin asks the other "can you pass the soap?" the other penguin says "what do I look like? A toaster?"

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whats worse than seeing a repeated anti-joke? The Holocaust.

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An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

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Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

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Nobody knows why she swallowed the fly, she probably won't die.

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What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree? My penis whilst im doing it.

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How do you crash an airplane? By not knowing how to fly it.

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How are a grape and a duck alike? They're both purple... except for the duck.

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What did the cast of sex and the city get for Christmas Nothing Sarah Jessica Parker is Jewish

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How do you save a black guy from drowning? You don't.

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A blind man sits down to read Anti jokes Whoops my bad

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What's black and white and red all over? Colors

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a sailor went to his G.P to see if he had HIV turned out he had hepititis C

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Why were there teeth marks in the guys arm? He bit himself

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What doesnt have arms and legs? A brick.

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Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

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How do you push a blond off a cliff? Push here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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