How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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Q: If Jack Bauer is partially gay, then what are you? A: His sidekick -Ryan Vallee

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how do you get to your favorite chinese restaurant? Wok.

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What do you call six million jews? Dead.

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A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

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How much did the Holla Cost?

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How u know when ur sister have periods... Fathers dig taste like blood

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Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A nun in a blender.

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the front porch? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating down the river? Bob

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YOLO MAH BROLO

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None, now stop hallutinating about wood chuck.

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Why God isn't a woman? Because Moses wouldn't last it 40 days on the mountain if that was true. And he also wouldn't come back with only 10 rules.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts. What's invisible and smells like rabbit farts? Carrots, if you're blind.

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Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

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Why did the boy fall down the stairs Because I pushed him

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What call a duck with no wings? A deformity.

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Want to hear a dead baby joke? Abortion

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Child Protection Services. ...............

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Q: What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? A: Drowning.

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what happens when a jew meets a black person answer: they greet one another

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I have no ideas.

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a man walks into horse bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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