- Anti Joke

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike with no handle bars or pedals.

-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? Dog shit.

i was going to say a gay joke butt f*** it.

Dan, a 17 year of age male walks into a poor, raggedy bar. The bartender ask for I.D. But Dan continues to walk to the back at a corner booth with his name carved on the wall of the booth. Dan sits downs and begins to cry as the bartender pours a shot glass full of a light whiskey and gives it to him hopes of cheering up Dan, but sobs silently as he swallows the liquor and goes back to weeping to himself. The bartender then sits across Dan and ask if anything is wrong and does he need help. Dan looks up with his eyes glossy as if made porcelain glass, and his face red as if he was smacked across the face. Dan calmly ask the bartender what his name, the old and withering man replied with "Bart" Dan snickers as he finds that a bartender is Bart, because the first four letter of "bartender" is his name. Dan fixs his posture and looks Bart in the eyes, noticing that one of his old friend eyes is grey and bloodshot and constantly looking downward as if focusing on something on the floor. He ask what is with the deformitie of his eye, Bart sighs and pours another drink for himself and softly swallows the warming alcohol and tells Dan "I had an older bother, who pretty much invented the term asshole, but I loved him with all my heart. But one Christmas when I was young enough to know the meaning of family, my brother got a BB gun to hunt stray cats and raccoons" with a pause to down another liquid nummer "he was teasing me, and firing at my feet to scare me, if mom would have found out he was shooting his brother and not diseased filled animals mom would have token it away, but while he cut my toenails with metal bb's I trip and fell. The bb entered the side of my skull, piercing my eye and blinding my left eye forever" Dan just sits still looking at the empty shot glass pondering on why a mans brother would shot him. "But it's fine, he moved out two years later and haven't heard from him since, for all I know he maybe dead as we speak" Dan just berries his face into his cross arms now leaning on the old oak table. "So what's got a youngster like down?" Dan wipes his nose on his sleeve and looks Bart in his good eye "my brother died two days ago to a drug overdose, he was supposed to go to the movies but he ended up at a party and he tried a new drug and just died...and if that's not bad, my mom, my sweet mother has been dignosed with small cell cancer...and has a max of two years to live" Dan runs his hand down the wall over his name carved into the booth, "Dan and Sarah forever and for life" surrounded by a heart. "I don't like when people carve $hit into my wall but I left this because it was sweet, so how is the lady" as Bart began to pour yet another drink "dead" Dan whispered, "what happened?" Dan takes the drink from In front of Bart and downs the fluid without second wind. "She was at a hockey game and she decided to leave early because her favorite team was losing, on her way home a drunk driver swerved into her lane, head on collision, her legs were trapped by the Dashboard and steering wheel but her top half.....her top half flew out the windshield and landed on the side of the road, the believe she bled out before she hit the pavement " Bart got up and walked to the bathroom as Dan sucks the bottle away. Dan never told anyone his girlfriend died but he felt better telling Bart his true feelings. Dan walked into a bar, asked the bartender about a scar while his girl is smashed by car and I took this anti-joke way to far.

Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

Q.What did the muffin say when the other muffin said, "How ya doin'?" A."HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!"

I just flew in from Chicago and boy are my legs cramped

How did the mermaid break her arm? She fell out of a tree.

Jason Connor.

You smell like shit

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was taken to a factory where it was butchered, processed and eventually fed to America.

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender stands speechless due to the ridiculousness of the situation -Tag

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

How many black ppm does it take to screw in a light bulb All of them, plus 1 white guy.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

A dog walks into a bar. the bar tender asks" what'll you have?" the dog does not reply because dogs have not yet developed the type of voice box required to speak or the learning cappacity to be taught the English language.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven. Ha ha ha ha

Man is hit by a falling tree his friend immediately responds "Got Wood" the man is now paraplegic

George Bush does not care about black people.

Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them..

How many gay men does it take to change a lightbulb? Usually, it takes one gay male to complete this action.

What do you call a gay couple of kangaroos adopted baby A Joey

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stranded on a desert island for a few weeks. They get to know each other really well.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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