wanna hear a joke: women's rights

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Once upon a time there were seven dwarfs. They were named Steven, Jason, John, Peter and Alfred.

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What did nike say to addidas? Hi

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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What is your favorite joke? I like bar jokes. Okay knock knock Who's there? A bartender A bartender who? A bartender walks into a bar but before he went through the door, he decided to knock on the door because this lame joke is so random.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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What is brown and sticky? Black tar heroin.

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How did Pikachu jump off of a 100 story building and survive? He's not real

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Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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What the difference between water and water? Nothing, they're both water.

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What's white and flies around ? A seagull. What's black and flies around ? A seagull in the darkness.

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Why did Lady Gaga arrive at the Grammy's in an egg? Because she was born that way.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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What is the difference between a car and dead babies? The car is legally obtainable by law and can run on gasoline, when dead babies are nonliving humans, and the owner of which would most likely be sent to jail.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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2 women were sitting quietly

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What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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Roses are red, Violet are violet, not blue, dumbass.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rob Rob! I haven't seen you in ages come on in.

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I'm a brony. I'm a brony. I'm a brony. Screw this shit, I'm not a brony anymore. I'm a man. I'm a man. Screw this too. I'm dead, not in bed.

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Q. Whats the easiest way to end world hunger? A. Nuke Africa.

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. A farmers walks by underneath, and the squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because squirrels can't talk and neither can owls. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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press a,s,d,f,g,h,j,k,l feel like a pianist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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