Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

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What do you call putting a vehicle on the side of the road? Parking.

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What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? One is easier to unload with a pitchfork.

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Why Oscar lives with elephants in a zoo ? Because he's an elephant.

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What happens when you shoot chuck norris? he dies

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Why did the old man fall off a bicycle? He had a fridge thrown at him.

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This is a haiku I said this is a haiku You read a haiku

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Q: Why is the earth round? A: I am Batman.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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2 dogs one jar of peanut butter

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Why did the black man cry? He had no rights.

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How do you kill a fashion icon? First make sure their blonde and stupid like most. then take a barstool preferably or what ever is closest then........ WACK HER IN THE EMPTY SPOT WHERE HER BRAIN SHOULD BE.

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a gay guy walks into a bar what does he do? buys a drink after a hard day at work

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Do you know what big feet mean. Big socks

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(Family sat down at table) *Child goes to start a story* - "I have a ginger friend.." Everyone bursts out laughing and leaves the child confused.

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So a female ant walks into a bar... and someone steps on it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

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Q: how do you crush a Chinese man's dreams? A: tell him he is worthless and will never prosper.

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What the difference between a alien and you nothing

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Roses are red voilets are blue,you are gay so fuck you,!

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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What do you call 2 tigers, a zebra, and a walrus? A small zoo full of 4 animals

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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A black guy and Hispanic guy jump off the Empire State Building at the EXACT same time. Who dies first? Who cares?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops