What did the turkey call the chicken? Nothing, turkeys can't speak, idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Listen Nero, lol "listen", anyway, you seem pretty quick to take the blame for my mistakes here, I mean sigh... ...I would never send anyone to harass anyone, but then again I should never allowed them to join in the first place, how bad is that eye doing by the way? I am deeply sorry, I never meant for anything like this to happen. I am eating as I write, I mean I am still scared, I would not blame you if you still keep burning anger towards me.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Camero? - The Camero isn't in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q:What did the hillbilly say when he lost his tractor? A: Where is my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What time is it? 10:58

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you!- Napoleon Dynamite

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why do flamingos hold up one leg?f If they held up two they'd fall down.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a black person with food stamps? A freeloader.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get when you mix your mom and your dad? YOU!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile "robin, get in the batmobile"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the clock say? The time.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Once my grandpa said: Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I said: No. Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I unplugged his life support.?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

heres a great game to play... DEATH TO BABIES!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the hobo say while giving birth? bob come over here and hold my third leg for me??

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do you call a boomerang that never comes back? stick

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the black man jump off a cliff? He's been emotionally unstable ever since he witnessed the brutal murder of his parents as a child and could no longer live with himself, so he decided to commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happen to the guy who didn't breathe A. He died

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a girl's mouth and her vagina? There is none. I want my penis to be inside both of those things.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops