Why are children like books? They are highly flammable if covered in gasoline.

A baby seal walks into a club...

why dont black people go on cruises? there not falling for that one again

I love you You love me Barney gave me HIVS It started with a hug and ended on the floor IVE BEEN RAPED BY A DINOSAUR!

What do you call a drunk irishman? A cab.

A very ugly man with has sex with a lamb because he is so ugly. He subsequently gets ghonorhea and dies 2 years later of brain cancer.

Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

How did Pikachu jump off of a 100 story building and survive? He's not real

How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

What was the doctor's shirt made out of? Cotton

It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

A horse walked into a bar. Animal control was immediately called and the horse was returned to it's original owner.

women's rights

What do Bear Grylls drink under breakfast? Tea.

How many rabbits does it take to screw in a light buld? None, it is scientifically impossible for a rabbit to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

What did one duck say to the other duck? Nothing, ducks cannot talk.

penis

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A man walks into a man walks into a man walks into a man.

you wanna know hellen kellers favorite game? Marco Polo!

Q. Why did the Mexican have to go back to Mexico? A. His mom died in an auto accident and no one in her village could afford to organize a proper funeral.

Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

What happens when you shoot chuck norris? he dies

Why did the old man fall off a bicycle? He had a fridge thrown at him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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