I'm growing tired of all those ADD jokes. I have ADD, and I... ... what time is it?

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What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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So Jimmy's phsycology teacher is trying to think of beginnig lessons for her phsycology class. so she gets up and says "class, i want u anyone who thinks they are stupid to stand up." nobody stood up. then Jimmy stands up. The teacher says "Jimmy, u think u are stupid?" Jimmy replies "No, i just felt bad with u standing up all alone."

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What's worse than standing in line at Walmart? Being raped. What's worse than paying an outrageous amount for whatever it is you bought at Walmart? Being pregnant with a rape baby.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Ze Gestapo!

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the website says jokes, yet these are all facts.

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What is another word for a woman that ends in unt. Aunt.

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What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

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Knock knock Who's there Interrupting camel (Interrupt with nothing) Camels can't talk.

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a Mexican? A large pizza can feed a family.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What do you call a retarded sheep? Whatever it's name is. There's no sense in torturing it by pointing out the disability which has made it a social outcast it's whole life.

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What is black, white, and red, and can't turn around in a hallway? A nun with a spear through her head.

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1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

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A man walks into a bar, has a drink, pays the bartender, and leaves.

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Why did Jack explode? He had a sneezier and his army friend Stephan threw a grenade at him because he was scared.

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roses are red violets are blue my cat died and i have alsheimers who are you

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What happen to the boy who poured water on his head? He got wet.

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Why did the boy go to heaven? He was in an airplane.

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What did the Scientist say to the bookstore owner he met? "Hi."

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have you ever noticed that when geese are flying in a V, that one side is longer? Do you know why? no...why? There is more on one side

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: She got hit in the face with an axe

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How much does a mexican immigrant get paid? Less an minimum wage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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