how do you make a dog roll over you kill it

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Friends are a lot like snow You pee on them, they disappear

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the black kid get for Christmas? A bike that his father paid for with the salary he made as an accountant at a local bank.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yeah, I assumed so, but I got kinda worried at the same time. Huh... The catchthing says trolololol, no coincidence at all huh? Anyway, take that last comment Nero, I am spent.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red Violets are fin I'll be the 6 You be the 9

thumb_up thumb_down +11

So, I was eating out this girl Until I tasted something like horse semen. So I looked up at her and said; " Ah grandma, so that's how you died ! ".

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roar, roar! I am the king of the jungle! But did you know the lion would be defeated by a polar bear in a battle between the two?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Republicans

thumb_up thumb_down +11

if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you call a retarded kid? jack kamstra

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A 75 year old man walks into a college classroom and sits down. He suffers from severe dementia and realizes that he's been in the classroom before. A 75 year old man walks into a college classroom...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Im Jackson Sinclair and Me and Carter Weeks-69;)

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the Mexican put away the Marijuana? Because he was a Police Officer

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a man or woman who has sex, records it on video, and sells the recordings for money? A porn star.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Murder me once, shame on you.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

John: Hey Bill, ORANGE you in the mood to go to a Phillies game? Bill: Yes! So let's make like a banana and raise our potassium levels drastically and leave right away to beat the rush hour traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops