Roses are red Violets are blue I'm about to kill you Don't scream, here's a lollipop

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ok so there was a black guy a white guy and an asian in a bar.so the asian guy says lets leave and they all exited the bar.

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What do you call a black man in an envelope? A tiny black man

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Who is a knob? ross d

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U ALL LIAK DIK

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Your mom was diagnosed with aids. Her prognosis was 6 months....clearly this joke is about the Holocaust.

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Whats the square root of x^2? Variables cant be gay

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What is better than a car made of gold? Anything you consider to be better than a car made of gold.

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Roses are white, tulips are white, wait whos been masturbating in my garden!

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Why didn't the blonde make it in a gun circle? The blonde yelled "Fire"

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How do you wake up your snoring friend? Cut his feet off.

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The police, we have several warrants for your arrest.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and is therefore ineligible for a driver's license.

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Two Haitians walk into a bar and it collapses

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a bat and the others a watermelon

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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The awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it dinosaur.

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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Hey I had a wet and dirty dream about you last night. Really? What happened? You got hit by a bus and I pissed myself laughing. .......

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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If I could change one thing about the alphabet, knd stte bporw xzuor flllle !

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Why did Miss Parkinson get hit by a bus? Because it missed Justin Bieber by a few inches.

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What do dogs and cats have in common? They eat dog food, accept for the cat.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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