1st guy: Wanna hear a joke? 2nd guy: Yeah sure. 1st guy: Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the worst part about censorship? **** *** **** **** *** **** *** ********.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If 1 + 2 = 3 Then, what does 2 + 1 equal? It equals 3 due to the fact that reversing the order of numbers does not change the outcome of the equation :D

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Do you know what the cop said to the black guy? Your free to go

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock Who's There? Due to the fact that the man asked who's there instead of promptly opening the door, the women on the other side was raped and killed, because she went to that house to seek help.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is worse than adolf hitler? Justin beiber

thumb_up thumb_down +1

http://attachments.conceptart.org/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=351301&stc=1&d=1208673890

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I watched the news yesterday and they were talking about the conflict in Libya. I changed the channel.....

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, and mute child get for his birthday? Nothing, his parents hate him.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats black and hangs from the my tree? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man runs into a bar. He is instantly knocked out.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Do you have a curfew? No its saturday!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happens when you shoot chuck norris? he dies

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? D-12.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a seal walks into a bar. replace "bar" with "club". and replace "walks into" with "gets bludgeon by."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man with no legs walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red voilets are blue,you are gay so fuck you,!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops