Do you know the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human, and one is an inanimate object.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, because feminists can't change anything

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Roses are red, That much is true, but Violet are purple, not ****ing blue

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Q: What do you call a man driving a van with a bunch of stuff in the back that doesn't belong to him? A: A delivery man

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Blind people can't read this.

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Q: Why don't gingers have souls? A:Ginger is a root that consumed whole as a delicacy, medicine, or spice. Why would it have a soul?

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whats worse then the worst thing that happened in your life? nothing.

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What's a cow's favorite vacation spot? the slaughterhouse.

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What do you call a fat guy falling down stairs Japan suffering.

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How do you catch a unique rabbit? You could probably find many of them in the vicinity of Chernobyl. The radiation has probably created thousands of mutations. They are probably not as fast as regular rabbits.

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Pickup line: Boy: Hey, do you have a library card? Girl: Yes

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It was hit by an oncoming motorist in a busy intersection.

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they sent me too your moms house and 9 months later you are here

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow... She should think about scheduling an appointment at a local dentist's office.

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Ham sandwich

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what's retarded and has red hair? You. ;)

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the face like yours belongs to the zoo. Please don't be sad, 'cos I'll be there too.. Not in the cage but laughing at you!

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on how much you compress them.

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What did the homosexual find when he proceeded to his mailbox? His mail.

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As for regarding the Win/Win/Win/sore ass kid comment below... Why not? There is too much Win in order to worry about some fucking soreass thats just gonna grow up to be a slut... RIGHT? Your friendly r*pist Neighborhood r*pist Moral: Man: "He or she who knows I am right, will be be the only one left" Btw, I am the Anti-God, what else can I be? You are the ones that killed Christ Ahahahahahaha! Political humor bonus because my satisfaction of owning you all and your entire screen. Are you Right Winged? Or wrong Winged?

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing. He's been dead for over three years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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