One day a man runs into a bar. He is already drunk and jumps through the window. This is illeagal, so he was arrested, stoned and killed.

You know what is better than winning a race in the Special Olympics? Winning two races.

What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? Quality control or some other function.

What's the difference between a Duck and Michael Jackson? A Duck has feathers and goes "Quack quack" and Michael Jackson touches little boys......

What did the doctor say to the Jew? You have cancer.

A 75 year old man walks into a college classroom and sits down. He suffers from severe dementia and realizes that he's been in the classroom before. A 75 year old man walks into a college classroom...

What do you call a person who uses food stamps? Poor. What do you call a black person who uses food stamps? Still poor.

What's wrong with the beetles? They suck dick

A man and woman was sitting at a bar. The man bought the woman a roofied drink and she has never been seen again.

hi michael

What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

If we all evolved from apes. Abbie didnt go that far

One day a mexican guy came up with a great anti-joke about jewish guys. Upon sharing it with a canadian buddy of his, he collapsed and died from a cerebral hemorrhage where he was then hit by a bus and mauled to bits by a pack of saber-tooth tigers.

Two rabbis standing at the buffet cart. The first exclaims "Oy vey, those pork chops look good!". The second shrugs, turns to his friend and remarks, "So do your wife's norks".

If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

babe whos moaning? are you with another woman? guy:god damn if you would stay in the kitchen we would never have any problems.

What does KFC stand for? Kids Fattening Center

That Awkward moment when your whole family dies

Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The white man who called the police and the police officers involved were sued by the family for a large sum of money.

Knock knock Come in No you supposed to say who's there Oh, who's there? Jennifer Come in No, you supposed to say Jennifer who Oh, Jennifer who? Forget it

What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

My mother-in-law is so fat that I sometimes worry my wife will look just like her after she gives birth.

How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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