Why didn't the parachute open? nevermind

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Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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You're mother is so fat the doctors say she has a serious obesity problem and will most likely have to go on cholesterol pills and begin regulating her diet properly.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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anti jokes

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sausage is brown, and so is my wife.

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shitted on em put your numbah 2s in the air if ya did it on em

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic with a family of four and is ruining his life. -Tag

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Hey youknow what's funny???? Jokes

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Why was little billy sad? He had a crouton stuck up his asshole.

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How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

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There is a Mexican and a Black guy in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican, you racist bastard.

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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Why could the red-haired boy sing higher notes than the blonde-haired boy? He was castrated at birth.

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what happened to the man with no arms or legs when he was pushed down a hill? nobody knows he is still going ........................................................................

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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Bye, Ax... Nerochan, you just gonna leave me in this state? I mean wont you stop it? I know hypnosis and all but I mean I have like black belt in hypnosis but since you began it, I do not really want to stop it.

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There is this dylectic who can't spell.

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Why was the little boy so bad at the piano? It was his first time playing it.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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