What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

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Why was the baby smoking? He was locked in a hot car.

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Electronic Arts is a respectable company.

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Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie? Tickets were sold out.

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What does a dog do in his spare time? Lick himself.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What is black, white, and red, and can't turn around in a hallway? A nun with a spear through her head.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun.

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What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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Whats gayer than driving a prius Buttsex

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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"One fish, two fish, red fish, the holocost." -Dr. Seuss

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What did the cowboy say to the skunk? You smell.

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for keeps?

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What did one potato say to the other. Let's get baked!( hope u dont mind that this isnt a anti-joke well i dont know what it is so sue me)

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I'm a brony. I'm a brony. I'm a brony. Screw this shit, I'm not a brony anymore. I'm a man. I'm a man. Screw this too. I'm dead, not in bed.

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(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

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How much does a mexican immigrant get paid? Less an minimum wage.

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? the black baby is black

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Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

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what do you call a somone who murders someone else? black.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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