Not Steve Jobs

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What is blue and smells like red paint, Blue Paint

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Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried to to commit suicide.

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If someone throws a fridge at the boy then they must be exceptionally strong because fridges weigh more than the average human can lift therefor he has a good future ahead of him but will have to live with the fact that he hurt a small child

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You're mom is so black... that she is most likely of African Descent

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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What do the holocaust and 9/11 have in common? They were both terrible tragedies that people will look back upon in sadness for years.

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? The video game he really wanted.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them they die.

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How do you scare a 5 year old girl? Stick your dick out.

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how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

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I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

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One cold winter day in Russia, a man asked a tree if he was cold. The tree did not reply, and the man became depressed.

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*you're

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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How did the priest die? Masterbation

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Why is an elephant large, grey and wrinkled? Because if it was small, round and smooth it would be an aspirin.

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

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theres a mexican, an asian, and an american in a plane, they're about to crash, so they all have to throw out something they have a lot of in their country. The Mexican throws out beans, and says "I have to many of these in my country." The Asian throws out rice and says "i have to many of these in my country." The American throws out the Mexican and says "I have to many of these in my country."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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