What is the biggest, most elaborate lie? Santa Clause

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a hard working man goes home after a long day at work to find that his wife left him for his even harder working father.

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A choir boy is hit by a car outside church. Someone runs to him and says "shall I fetch the priest?" The boy starts to mumble something but quickly loses consciousness, and later dies after 16 hours in ICU.

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Roses are red Violets are blue... No they are not they come in many different colors from cross breeding and different environments.... YOU ARE WRONG

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how long does it take a black woman to shit? 3 to 5 minutes depending on the food she ingested earlier that day

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what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after A-N-A-L

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How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown glue

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What does a Dominican and a Russian have in common... they are both thinking of a funny anti-joke to post on this site...

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Why did the kid drop his lollipop? He got hit by a bus.

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Did you hear about the guy that came out the closet while at school? Yeah, Dylan Hodge is a dick.

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Why haven't the Miami "Big Three" won a championship together? They don't play as a team. They rely on three people to score all their points when there are at least two other people on the court at all times. They jinxed themselves because they thought they were going to win every title until their contracts were up.

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Schroedingers cat walked into a bar... and it didnt.

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Q: What do you call a black preist? A: Father

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How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Get a ladder and help her down.

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A blind man walks into a bar. Then a chair. Then a table. (TD)

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man was playing with his little toddler. the man put his thumb through his fingers and said "got your nose" the baby laughed. the cops then burst down his door and arrested him for robbery of personal items. they werent laughing.

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Q: Why did the rich Wallstreet business man move into Harlem? A: Because sex offenders weren't welcome anywhere else.

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Why did the farmer go to the market? Because his butt was on fire!

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Q: What has four legs and an arm. A: A pitbull on a playground

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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What do you call two black men kicking a ball? Soccer.

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What did the abortion say to the womb? I'm outta here.

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Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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