Two tubes of ice cream are sitting in a freezer, one turns to the other and says "its bloody freezing in here" God then corrects this apparent mistake in the combined laws of physics and biology

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a potocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve their kind here! Your droids will have to wait outside." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Why don't you wait out by the speeder, we don't want any trouble." The protocol droid replies, "I heartily agree, sir."

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

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What does an eagle and a worm have in common? They both live in the ground. Except the eagle.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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your mums so fat she has to use a matress as a tampon

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doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

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What do you get when you mix a dog with speeding bus? Nothing, you can't mix those two things.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was taken to a factory where it was butchered, processed and eventually fed to America.

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Why don't blind men skydive? Because it would be unwise for a man who can't see to be jumping out of planes, completely unaware of his surroundings.

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There were three people on a plane, the plane crashed and they all died.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't want to.

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A pedophile walks into a daycare

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Roses are red Violets are? blue I'm going to rape you in the ass with a rake.

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[Jewish Joke] Some Guy: OOOOHH I GET IT Me: Anne Frank-ly, how did jew nazi this coming?

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Can you get me a stapler,make sure it has staples because if it doesn't..........I won't be a ble to staple anything

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Why is an orange, orange. Because you can't clean a window with a spade.

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What is the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Lamborghini I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

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What do you call a Muslim running a country? Obama

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and death, making her oblivious of her surroundings and would be a danger to fellow commuters. -mac

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What did timothy say after he went to go golf? - I just went golfing

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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