why'd the women leave the kitchen? her chain broke

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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A proton and a neutron talk to each other. Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

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Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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Why are hookers and babies so alike? You can have sex with both.

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What's the difference between red paint and blue paint? One looks like blood and is used a lot in restaurants. The other is blue.

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what's worse than finding a fat couple in a buffet?

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What do you call a cow in the grass... A cow in the grass... Dumbas*

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What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

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why was your family so sad? because you died due to your uncle's son's cousin urinating all over you as a baby causing you to sting yourself continually. did i mention you were born as a scorpion while your family members were all human beings making them neglect and throw you away in their trash when you would always climb out. your family secretly hid affection for you. back to the beginning. when you died everyone in the whole world except bill cosby got cancer at the exact moment you died, but years later (because bill cosby is immortal), he got down syndrome after everyone who was alive during your death died. that is why he goes doo dop bip babbity today.

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two.

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Murder me once, shame on you.

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What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

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what did Santa Claus say to Nikki Minaj? I really admire your musical talents

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Whats worse than a clock with no hands? Your mom with cancer.

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So, I was eating out this girl Until I tasted something like horse semen. So I looked up at her and said; " Ah grandma, so that's how you died ! ".

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Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

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what language does the turtle speak? i dont know I'm not a turtle.

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how do you kill a blonde? shoot her in the face with a pistol

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Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

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wanna hear a joke? asians with t i t s

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women's rights

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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