Two girls walk into a bar. One ducks.

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A black guy with his family.

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how does a black woman find out if she is pregnant? she takes a pregnancy test

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Why can't Sally ride a bike? Because Sally's a fish.

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Two 50 year old men walk into eachother on the street. one was born in a hobo shack and another was born in a mansion. what did the rich one say to the poor one? Hi, whats your name?

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Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

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What do you get when you mix a dog with speeding bus? Nothing, you can't mix those two things.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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I used to play Skyrim but then I took an arrow in the knee. Then, I played MW3 until I took a bullet in the elbow. And now, I'm in the hospital wondering why people keep harming me.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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What do a grape and a plane have in common? They both have wings... except for the grape!

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women playing football?

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A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and a man? Nothing. I was lying about their being a difference.

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So a Quadriplegic walks into a bar.....

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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What did the homeless man without legs and arms, get for Christmas? ... Cancer

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What did the fish say? Moo

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How many cats get hit by a car per day How ever many cats you can find

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm colorblind

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why'd the women leave the kitchen? her chain broke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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