Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

Why were little Suzie's parents crying? Suzie was kidnapped by Al Qeada

What did one ear say to the other ear? Did you hear that?

What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

Why is jim gay? because he likes men

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she has no arms Why can't she get back up? Because she has no legs Why won't anyone help her up? Because she's a woman.

Knock knock Who's there A drummer A drummer who I'm not knocking on your door

How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

Smart Blondes

That didn't hurt.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

What's white or grey or brown or green or black or yellow or purple ? Could be almost anything, really.

What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

A man calls 911 911: hello? Man: sorry wrong number.

Knock, Knock! Who's There? Your neighbor, I found your lost cat! Oh thanks!

how do you get to your favorite chinese restaurant? Wok.

What do you call six million jews? Dead.

Q: If Jack Bauer is partially gay, then what are you? A: His sidekick -Ryan Vallee

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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