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Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Nock Nock. Whose there? The chicken.

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Q

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Asians are a lot like spongebob They're terrible at driving and good at karate.

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how did hitler fit 100 Jews in his car??? he couldn't, his car only fits 5 people.

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If yesterday was friday, today is saturday, what day is it tomorrow? sunday

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roses are gray violets are gray everything's gray I'm a #$%ing dog

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what red black and white al over? a t.v I was kidding about the red part

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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THERES AN APP FOR ANTI JOKES ? now thats not funny !

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3 dogs, a blue dog, a yellow dog, and a red dog. The owner was a man named Jeff. Now the blue dog was always sad so Jeff named him blue. The yellow dog was always scared so Jeff named him yellow. Now the red dog he was red because he had red fur, so Jeff named him red. One day when Jeff was reading his newspaper, he accidentally hit his coffee and it fell on the floor. Question: What did Jeff do? I don't know.

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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How often does a black women poop? Every nine months.

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Whats the square root of x^2? Variables cant be gay

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Q.If you are European in the bathroom, what are you in the kitchen? A. A woman.

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what is 6.9? a good thing ruined by a period

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Your mother is so fat that she got diabetes and later died of an unrelated illness.

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yo momma so fat that she's fat

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Why wasn't Fred invited to he party? Because he's been dead for five years

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Q: Why was the duck hands down hilarious? A: It wasn't, ducks don't have hands and with human beings able to be equipped with emotions such as to see an object or living organism as funny, do not view these mammals in a humorous manner.

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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