Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

when geese fly in a V patteren why is on side longer than the other? not as many geese on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +13

WHY DID THE WHITE MAN TALK TO THE BLACK MAN TO LIGHTEN HIM UP

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock! Who's there? What do you mean... we have been having a conversation for a half hour now... that's your name you idiot, Knock Knock!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the black kid get for Christmas? A bike that his father paid for with the salary he made as an accountant at a local bank.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how do you make a dog roll over you kill it

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Friends are a lot like snow You pee on them, they disappear

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats red and hurts when you bite into it? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

So, I was eating out this girl Until I tasted something like horse semen. So I looked up at her and said; " Ah grandma, so that's how you died ! ".

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roar, roar! I am the king of the jungle! But did you know the lion would be defeated by a polar bear in a battle between the two?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red Violets are fin I'll be the 6 You be the 9

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yeah, I assumed so, but I got kinda worried at the same time. Huh... The catchthing says trolololol, no coincidence at all huh? Anyway, take that last comment Nero, I am spent.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? nothing since it is impossible to combine a cat and a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Republicans

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile "robin, get in the batmobile"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops