Why is jim retarded? Because he fucks chickens

A Black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bar tender says " thats something weird you got there". The parrot says "yeah i found it on the street".

What did the girl get for her birthday? Older.

What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

I walked a few Km from home.. Something stops me in my tracks, there lies A LIE!

Kah-________-

I could even argue that having blood on your penis is kinda fun sometimes.

Knock knock! Who's there? Elton. Elton who? Elton John

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Neither has Stevie Wonder

A 75 year old man walks into a college classroom and sits down. He suffers from severe dementia and realizes that he's been in the classroom before. A 75 year old man walks into a college classroom...

A man runs into a bar. He is instantly knocked out.

wanna hear a joke? asians with t i t s

what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names...

Whats worse than 3 black guys. 4 black guys.

What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back distinctly better at the Trumpet.

What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate sex Especially with you

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

How can you put 2 elephants in a bottle without touching each other. You put an elephant between them.

What did the 3 bears say when they saw goldielocks sleeping in their bed? Nothing. Bears can't talk so they ate her.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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