Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

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How did the blind man eat his soup? With a spoon. Despite no vision, the man could feel the shape of what he was touching.

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Why'd the boy fall off his bike? The holocaust

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Guy: If you can guess what's in my hand, you can have it. Girl: If it fits in one hand, you can keep it!

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What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

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Person 1: Eric is in the hospital! I think it was those depression pills. Person 2: What did he overdose? Person 3: No he just took to much.

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Why did the jew die Really...

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Why can't Hellen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Why was Bootylatrice tardy for school? -She overslept.

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what happens when a jew meets a black person answer: they greet one another

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Two Penn-State Advisors walk into a butt.

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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I'm banging your sister.

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myspace

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A man sees a bum laughing. He asks the bum "Why are you laughing", at which point the bum replies "I'm a bum!"

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A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Grass is green.

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your mom is so old. she can legally get a senior discount

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A moose walks into a corner store and asks the lady where the Mashed potatoes are. The lady working behind the corner says "Down Aisle five..." The moose goes down aisle five and there are no Mashed Potatoes. -Tyler the Creator

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Why was the man afraid of the pack of wolves? The man was blind and heard his stomach growling even though he had just eaten two buckets of KFC.

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What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

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Hearpin my durp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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