Why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off. haha its funny

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why do jewish women like to get their sons circumcised? They like anything 25% off.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

- Knock knock - I have a doorbell

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man and two women walk into the a house. When they leave out come 2 babies with them. What happened in that house? They were babysitting.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leppard

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Never tell Alzheimer's jokes to old people. They will not remember them.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the zombie go to school? Zombies do not exist and certainly do not go to school.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts. What's invisible and smells like rabbit farts? Carrots, if you're blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

knock knock who's there? no one, but I appreciate the fact you asked.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the 5 year-old go to the hospital? He had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I can Nazi

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the mexican jump when he heard police sirens? The sirens where very lound and abrupt. Therefore startling this mexican man.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why was your family so sad? because you died due to your uncle's son's cousin urinating all over you as a baby causing you to sting yourself continually. did i mention you were born as a scorpion while your family members were all human beings making them neglect and throw you away in their trash when you would always climb out. your family secretly hid affection for you. back to the beginning. when you died everyone in the whole world except bill cosby got cancer at the exact moment you died, but years later (because bill cosby is immortal), he got down syndrome after everyone who was alive during your death died. that is why he goes doo dop bip babbity today.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A Girl Who was very close to er grandmother got a text from her mom who was very new to texting, she thought lol meant "Lots Of Love" wel it turns out the Girl's Grandmother Passed away Sunday Morning And the Mom sent the text to the girl saying " Your Grandmother Got hit by a truck and died lol" the Girl Killed Herself that night becasue Of her mom, LESSON LEARNED< LEARN HOW TO TEXT.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Horton Hears... Rape and violence and doesn't do anything about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

The world's smartest man walks into a bar. And he orders the best most reasonably priced drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why don't men ask for directions? They want to appear knowledgeable and strong. Asking for directions is sometimes considered a sign of weakness.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

If no means yes and yes means no, what is yes? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

wnba

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a mexican riding a lawnmower? Promoted

thumb_up thumb_down +20

White people talk like this 'HEY' Black people talk like this 'YO' Hundreds of thousands died in the civil war.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your mom is SO ugly, I entered her in an ugly contest, and she came in fourth place!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops