- Anti Joke

Q:How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could would A: 26

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, i was dropped on my head as a baby, 978e456293&(^$%ZYI467z57967454^&4543^%$54#%^44jffdGHFYI

How do you get a black man to use a condom? You explain to him all the benefits of safe sex.

What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

I have a black guy in my family tree? Yea, his still hanging their

What happened after September 11, 2001? September 12, 2001

why was 6 afraid of 7? He's not.

press a,s,d,f,g,h,j,k,l feel like a pianist

There was a baby, and it wouldnt stop crying. So the mom shook it and shook it. Then it stopped crying.

Yo momma so ugly that she had self esteem issues and committed suicide, making her husband extremely depressed.

Knock knock Who's there? Yo mamma Nobody's home, go away mom

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

"You know what my motto in life is?" "No" "Oh, that's a shame."

Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

wood cant chuck wood

An eggo waffle had three friends that he will be inviting to his Superman birthday party. WHich friend will get the first piece of cake? Nobody the party was canceled.

Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? none, you can't see them in the dark. V

Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie? Tickets were sold out.

What's the difference between 6th graders and Jews? 6th graders make it back from camp. :)

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A black man went to jail while a white man received $200 dollars. They were playing a friendly game of monopoly.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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