how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter, he's not coming

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Knock Knock Who's there its me... we need to talk go away tod. i told you never to come back here babe, just open the door why? so you can beat me again? i said i was sorry! i just want to see my little girl... well maybe you should of been there for us! babe... i love you you lying son of a bitch... you dont deserve us open the damn door or i will beat it down im calling the cops YOU BETTER NOT BITCH! I WILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU! tod... please... get out come here no... NO! get the hell off of me!!!! HELP!! RAPE!! RAPE!!! SHUT UP WHORE (crying) please... please... ...mommy? SARAH! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! MOMMY LOVES YOU! ooh.. theres my little girl. you miss daddy? GET AWAY FROM HER!!! SHUT UP BITCH! come give daddy a hug what have you done to mommy? what you want some too? SARAH I SAID GET OUT THE HOUSE! GET HELP! ...mommy im scared... (sob) oh your crying? you want something to cry about? OH ILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT! .... you better get the hell out of here tod.. whoah... babe where did you get a gun GET OUT babe... put the gun down... relax NO YOU RELAX! all these years ive been raising this baby. without you. all by myself. and i dont want you in the picture now. ILL DO WHAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE ill see you in hell... (BANG) (BANG)

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What happened to the peanut who went to NYC? Nothing because he was eaten on the plane

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

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What do you call a homeless person with one leg? Rob.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

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Q: whats up? A: radiation levels in japan

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Because I'm colorblind

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what colour is a frog green you idiot

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AVB

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What do you call to guys who gave gave each other HIV? Blood-Brothers

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What's worse than 1000 babies stapled to one tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 tress.

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I hate when Harry Potter showers in my Potatoes....

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why did Sam have no friends? Because he was dead.

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What happened to the blonde who walked up to the vending machine? She got a snack and went on with her day.

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Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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Todays word of the day, is "legs" lets head back to your place and spread the word....

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what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

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Why God isn't a woman? Because Moses wouldn't last it 40 days on the mountain if that was true. And he also wouldn't come back with only 10 rules.

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How many prostitutes do I have to kill in order to get an erection? Three.

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WHATS BALCK AND YELLOW AND UNDER WATER? A BUMBLE BEE IN A SUBMARINE.... YEAH YOU BETTER #$%^ING LAUGH YOU HOMO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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