Friends are a lot like snow You pee on them, they disappear

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knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

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Whats red and hurts when you bite into it? A brick.

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This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Yeah, I assumed so, but I got kinda worried at the same time. Huh... The catchthing says trolololol, no coincidence at all huh? Anyway, take that last comment Nero, I am spent.

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Roar, roar! I am the king of the jungle! But did you know the lion would be defeated by a polar bear in a battle between the two?

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So, I was eating out this girl Until I tasted something like horse semen. So I looked up at her and said; " Ah grandma, so that's how you died ! ".

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Roses are red Violets are fin I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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what do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? nothing since it is impossible to combine a cat and a dog

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Republicans

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile "robin, get in the batmobile"

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

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People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

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knock knock who's there? rock rock who? rock on the ground, don't trip

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Unless you yourself put you trough that pain and misery, you have no reason to dislike or flee from who you are.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jewish people aren't edible.

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Why did the Mexican put away the Marijuana? Because he was a Police Officer

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What do you call a man or woman who has sex, records it on video, and sells the recordings for money? A porn star.

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Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

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John: Hey Bill, ORANGE you in the mood to go to a Phillies game? Bill: Yes! So let's make like a banana and raise our potassium levels drastically and leave right away to beat the rush hour traffic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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