Q: What do you call 10 black people in the ocean? A: A family having a good time on an exciting scuba diving tour.

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Why do people like the number 69? Because some people have favorite numbers, and 69 is a number.

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mat: whats 2+2? emma: how long we lasted

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown glue

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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A young man read a book. He then went back to the library to return the book, but got killed in a car crash on the way there.

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A white guy, a black guy, and a Spanish guy jump off of a building. Due to acceleration of gravity, they hit the ground at a fast speed and die.

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Why did I get raped

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night? Cot death.

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A Jew throwing a dime into a wishing well? Highly unlikely.

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Q: What is worse than The Apocalypse? A: Darkseid, Thanathos, Red Hulk, Onslaught, come on The Apocalypse cant even beat the X-men! Moral: "I AM THE APOCALYPSE, YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE!"

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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Why did the house get trashed? Cause the babysitter was a rooster

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Knock knock Whos there? FUS ROH DAH

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon ones a live the other isnt

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How did the chicken cross the road? Chickens live in farms, they don't cross roads.

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What did Freddie Mercurys father say at Freddies funeral. "Thats the cleanest hole our Freddies ever been in".

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Why does the sultan of Turkey wear red suspenders? So that his pants wouldn't fall down.

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why did the chicken cross the road? -----it didnt

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As Vanilla Ice once said, "If there's a problem ill resolve it."

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What time does lunch usually begin on the other side of the world. Noon.

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what's big fat and hairy yo mamma

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whats worse than your little sster being raped? her being raped by your father.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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