Weiner

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He was dead.

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P1 : Yo mamma's so fat... P2: My moms dead

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A proton and a neutron talk to each other. Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

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Why did the Mexican put away the Marijuana? Because he was a Police Officer

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To eat it of course

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

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The Bible

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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What did the Lumberjack say before cutting down the tree? Nothing, it's his job.

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Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

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Q:What did the hillbilly say when he lost his tractor? A: Where is my tractor

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Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

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What happen to the guy who didn't breathe A. He died

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if life gives you lemons you probably have problems

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Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

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Why was little Timmy an orphan? His family were slaughtered when he was three.

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Q: Why did the baby stop crying? A: Because it was satisfied.

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Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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What do you get when you mix your mom and your dad? YOU!!!

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Republicans

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what do you call a retarded kid? jack kamstra

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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