Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

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Roses are red, Violets are purple

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? If you know the answer then you should probably stop sniffing paint.

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Making a good analogy is like making a chocolate sundae; either way there are simply no reindeer left, and the glass of water you once had is now gone.

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I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

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A blind man sits down to read Anti jokes Whoops my bad

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Why did the man drink his own piss? Because he was Bear Grylls

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What do you call a blind fish? Amblyopsidae.

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I've had amnesia as long as I can remember

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A blonde woman walked into a bar. She ordered a scotch.

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A black man went to jail while a white man received $200 dollars. They were playing a friendly game of monopoly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had just been brutally raped by a lawnmower. The lawnmower had been hit by a car. The woman driving the car was suffering from Alzheimers disease. Which then escalated from the stress of the accident that she took her cat and ripped his right ass cheek then continued on with her day

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. But neither one of them knew.

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So this guy walks into a bar. As soon as he gets in, a drunk dude punches him in the face ! The dude was drunk enough to not know what he was doing, but still sober enough to hit the guy hard ! So the guy had a cerebral commotion and died 2 days later.

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Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

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FAP

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read this

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Knock knock, Who's there? To get to the other side

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Did you hear the one about the kid that farted in class? Cool.

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Sally sold seashells by the seashore but she didnt make any money of course. seashells on the shore can be picked up off the beach for free

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Q: what weighs 6 ounces sits in a tree and is very deadly? A: a sparrow with a machine gun

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Yo mamma's so old she is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops