How did the mermaid break her arm? She fell out of a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How often does a black women poop? Every nine months.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: Why did the Mexican jump over the fence? A: He went to go retrieve the ball that was kicked in his neighbor's yard. Afterwords, he continued playing soccer with his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A:Your so fat that you take up the hole room B:If i am fat,Then i can crush you down thin head!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Two penguins were taking a bath. One said "pass the soap." The second penguin replied, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What Do You Call A Swimming Banana.. Nothing Bananas Are Inanimate Objects Therefore It Would Be Impossible For It Swim

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock Who's there? Hurry up, let me in! Hurry up, let me in, who? *gunshot*

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man is training his dog. He tells the dog to sit. The dog sits. "Good boy!" said the man. The dog did not thank the man for the compliment because dogs cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a bat and the others a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Want to hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red. Violets are purple. Haha. Purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Why the long face?" Unable to under stand English the horse shits on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?!? The teacher is a highly-intelligent organism and the train is a large vehicle used in transporting goods over long distances on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why do you go to a black mans yardsale? To buy something cheap. Why don't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because it is illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What do you call a dog after the dentist? A: A dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

: Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

roses are red, violets are red, my garden is on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas ? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you get an Irishman out of a bar? You politely ask him to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: A deaf guy

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops