A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

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Why was the sea green? because a whale took a piss

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What's white on top and black on bottom? Society

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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how do you double your cash? You rip it in half.

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Why did the boy fail gym? He had cancer and had to amputate both of his legs.

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roses are red, voilets are creepy, i can beat you in call of duty

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alex h is such a ginger, that her hair downstairs is red.

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Part 1 - Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Part 2 - Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy!

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Who's this Jesus, have you heard of him?

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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Why couldn't the dog say anything to the cat? It was born deaf.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

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What did the rabbit say to the frog? If you think the rabbit said anything, you need to see a psychiatrist.

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What items don't float? A school bus full of children

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126

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The term "serial killer" is a bit strong...i prefer "ghost manufacturer"

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Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

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Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

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69

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Sgt. Richard, here... your son was raped many times by Iranian soldiers, then forced to make love to many goats and had his limbs chopped off.. he will never be able to walk, talk or poop without assistance again. OH MY GOD, NO!.. WHY!!! Haha just kidding mam, he stepped on a landmine and died.

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what kind of animals marriage is high? snails because It has home and car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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