Why did Henry jump of a cliff? He was in deep depression.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Probably cheese, since there really isn't a possesive form of the noun.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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God

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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roses are red, voilets are creepy, i can beat you in call of duty

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Three Jews walk into a bar... I lied, it was a gas chamber.

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a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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126

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what does an Ethiopian man say to greet a Chinese man well, first they must locate a translator fluent in both said languages, but they would most likely say hello

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What did Brielle say when she fell off the swing? Ow.

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why did the baby cry? Someone threw a brick at his head.

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What's red and on fire? My crotch

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what did the black guy say to the other black guy? good morning

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whats gay and can do flips? A gymnast

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Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

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Good for him. Thats wonderful!

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A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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What is more scary than an AK47,blood,and 99999 naughty children? Nothing problaly :p

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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