A plane is flying low over New York City. It's low on fuel and needs to land.

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a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Watermelons don't have feet.

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Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

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Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

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whats bright and yellow? the sun.

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82

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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N

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A batch of muffins is cooking in the oven, one muffin says to the others "it's hot in here!" the other muffins don't respond because they're muffins. He's the only of his kind.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Good guess!

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For anti-joke.com, there should be a section called "Hot" that shows new jokes which are given 5 thumbs up or up. This way we would get new jokes on the popular section instead of having the same ones for a very long time. I know this isn't a joke, but thumbs up if you agree.

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What do you call a sexually abusive man. Dad.

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ok so what is big yellow and can not swim well dont look for the answer deuce bag

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What's uneducated, black, and over six feet tall? A light pole.

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Two gay guys hosted a barbecue. The music and food was great. Everyone had a good time.

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The term "serial killer" is a bit strong...i prefer "ghost manufacturer"

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roses are grey violets are grey i am color blind

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What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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If I said "This AntiJoke will get thumbs up" It will get thumbs up

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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