Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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why did the baby cry? Someone threw a brick at his head.

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LIE

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why do humans have gall bladders? I honestly don't know

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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Why did the black man die? Because he fell off a cliff.

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Quess what the trash man did today? He took my trash.

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God

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Why women like NBA players so much? Because they have money.

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What is white and when it falls, your fridge is broken? Your fridge.

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What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

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Why did people spend $100 on Kanye West's plain white T- shirt? Because it was a good looking T-shirt.

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A Jew, an African American, and a homosexual are on an island. They all came to Manhattan for different reasons and are enjoying the lives they've built there.

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what does an Ethiopian man say to greet a Chinese man well, first they must locate a translator fluent in both said languages, but they would most likely say hello

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

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What's black and blue and red all over Sex

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who broke the little boys window? his abductor/rapist.

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What does a black man, an Irishman, and a Jewish man all have in common? Male genitalia.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Probably cheese, since there really isn't a possesive form of the noun.

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Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Why the long face?" The bartender backhands the man making him fall off of his stool.

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Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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