What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding it in your nose.

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How do you treat a homeless man? Like any other person, you disgusting fuck.

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Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

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Two computers walk into a bar I forget the rest

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What's black and white and red all over A nun falling down the stairs

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how do you double your cash? You rip it in half.

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what is light brown and looks like sand? sand

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Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

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roses are red, voilets are creepy, i can beat you in call of duty

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A plane is flying low over New York City. It's low on fuel and needs to land.

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126

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How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

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A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

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Why did the little girl cry when the x-ray showed her mom had a tumor? It was benign.

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Q: What do you call a fly with no wings. A: Dying.

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Why couldn't the dog say anything to the cat? It was born deaf.

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What person looks most like Jim Carry? Jim Carry

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What's white on top and black on bottom? Society

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Why did the Chinese man cross the road? To get to the Chinese restaurant.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Who's this Jesus, have you heard of him?

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Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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