Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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why did the baby cry? Someone threw a brick at his head.

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matt shut up

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Why was the sea green? because a whale took a piss

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Why did the red head never have a boyfriend? She was a lesbian and had always preferred women over men

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what did the black guy say to the other black guy? good morning

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A guy walks into a pub. He cant walk out because hes blind.

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Whats 9+10? Well it's certainly not 21

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Q: Why did the man take a shower? A: because he was dirty.

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Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

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What's funny about an anti-joke? It's a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

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What was the dying boy's last wish? Not to die.

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What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

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If I said "This AntiJoke will get thumbs up" It will get thumbs up

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Q. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A. Because he slipped on his moms three day old tampon.

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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What would be a good feature for this site? A search by keyword feature. (sorry...)

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Probably cheese, since there really isn't a possesive form of the noun.

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What did the young boy say to the adorable kitten? "Aww"

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What is more scary than an AK47,blood,and 99999 naughty children? Nothing problaly :p

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? A disgusting halfbreed which prays daily for its own euthenasia...

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Why the long face?" The bartender backhands the man making him fall off of his stool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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