what is long, black and looks like a curly-hair? A curly-hair

A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

24!

What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

There was a peice of lasagna. He knew he tasted great. So he constantly feared for his life.

Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

Two men walked into a bar. The third transformed into a duck and flew away.

A minor walks into a bar. He's not very good at limbo.

There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

Why did the black man order a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken? His wife just died in a tragic car accident and he is a horrible cook.

What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

Matt Damon

What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

Q. What is a brown cow called? A. A cow.

What's the square root of 69? 8.3

A moose walks into a corner store and asks the lady where the Mashed potatoes are. The lady working behind the corner says "Down Aisle five..." The moose goes down aisle five and there are no Mashed Potatoes. -Tyler the Creator

Cold camel scrotum.

What is brown and sticky? A stick

Hey, Texas! Knock knock Texas: Who's there? Ebola

what happens when a jew meets a black person answer: they greet one another

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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