What is long and hard on a black man? First grade.

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What happens when a llama falls off a cliff? It dies.

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What did Connor say to the fat man? Dude ur extremely fat.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because he was a pussy.

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Why wasn't the woman cooking in the kitchen? Both her hands had been cut off in a severe conveyor belt accident.

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A Jew walks into a Furness

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What's green and has wheels? A snow flake. I lied about the wheels, and the color.

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What's worse than having a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

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Why did the Muslim get on the plane in New York? To go visit his dying aunt in Memphis.

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mark. Oh Hai Mark

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whats the difference between colby and a high schooler? Colby hasn't matured yet

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Lisa’ house needed to be painted and her brother offered to do it for her. Lisa thought it was a nice gesture and told him that she wanted the house in antique white. However; after painting the house, Lisa noticed that her brother had used a color with a dark yellow tone. ”Are you sure this is Antique white?” she asked him. ”Offcourse!” he said. Afraid of hurting his feelings, Lisa didn’t dare to say anything. Ten years later, the house needed to be painted again. This time Lisa wanted to hire a professional painter, but her brother insisted on doing for her. He brought the paint, which Lisa recognized as the same yellow paint, with a color that Lisa had really begun to hate. ”Brother, are you sure this is antique white?” she asked, forcing a seriousness in her voice. ”Offcourse!” he answered, and Lisa was still too embarressed to object. Her brother didn’t have an easy life and she didn’t want to break his confidence. So the house was painted, same as before. Lisa did however notice a strange light in her brothers eyes. Another ten years passed, and the house needed to be painted a third time. This time however Lisa had had enough. Though it was her brother, she had become increasingly ashamed of her house had even stopped having guests over. With a deep breath she picked up the phone and called up her brother, ready to confront him. A woman answered; it was his wife. She could hardly speak because of her sobbing. Unfortunately Lisa’s brother had been killed in a car accident earlier that day.

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Q: how do you crush a Chinese man's dreams? A: tell him he is worthless and will never prosper.

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Whats Black and blue My wife after i beat her ass.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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What do you call a toddler with a gun? Interesting

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fkda

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because it was a hammer.

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1 leaves because no one is answering the door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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