why didn't little johnny show up to school on friday? little johnny died two months ago from cancer. he hasn't been to school in a year.

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So a catholic priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a beer.

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Why was the black man scared to leave his house? Because he saw a load of mutated zombies outside his door trying to kill him. However, he realised that this was not possible and was not scared anymore. He went outside but got hit by a fridge and died...

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

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Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? the black baby is black

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whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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why wouldn't the boy shake his teachers hand? his abusive father cut it off with an axe when he was a child

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Whats red and eats like dog? A fox.

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Billy's alarm clock went off at 8:00 AM but Billy was really tired but still his Dad forced him to go to school.

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Knock knock who's there? Screw this Screw this who? Im screwing this like ur boyfriend screwed you!

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Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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Why did the black man cry? He had no rights.

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"knock knock" "ill get it honey" "no stay in the kitchen bitch!"

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Why is there world hunger? Because you touch yourself at night.

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How do you stop 5 black guys from raping a girl? You call the proper authorities. Don't try to be a hero.

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whos a tramp and stinks? David Bell

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Why cant madeleine mccann play ps3? ive only got an xbox

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you dirty racist.

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Whats the difference between football and basketball? Absolutely everything By darragh Hamilton

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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What is the difference between Charlie Sheen and Michael Jackson? One is dead, one is not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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