Why is this an anti-joke? Are you laughing? Exactly.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

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What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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A man calls 911 911: hello? Man: sorry wrong number.

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What do you get if you cross a banana, a mango, and an apple? A smoothie

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What do you call a black guy with a fan? An African American male Homo Sapien who is most likely hot and sweaty and is probably trying to create cold air and then reduce how hot they are likely reducing the sweat glands natural instict to create ameliorate of sweat and then make him feel better.

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Q: If Jack Bauer is partially gay, then what are you? A: His sidekick -Ryan Vallee

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How do you kill a blonde? you shoot her.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. :D

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Al Kida and Terry Wrist walk out of jail.

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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What do you call six million jews? Dead.

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Waseem is not a funny guy!

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What's worse than missing Taco Tuesday? Your whole family dying in a car crash.

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What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a water because he's the designated driver

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A black man walks into a bar. A few minutes later a jewish man enters. Next door, a twelve year old girl is crying over the tragic death of her mother due to terminal cancer.

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A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

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a fat black man walks into an aquarium he was quickly shot down because he was mistaken for a whale.

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Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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