What do you call a black man in court? A lawyer.

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What did the coach do to the player Coached the player

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what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

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What do you get when you combine Seth Rogen and Harrison Ford? A very risky and expensive medical experiment.

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Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

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I have a sandwich and chips for lunch! But instead of a sandwich I have macaroni, and instead of chips I have no friends.

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What gas station can u make a Kwick trip at? Kwick trip

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What did the cheerleader get on Holloween? Raped.

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Q:Why did the black man shoot the white man? A:The black man happened to be extremely good at paintball.

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What is black, has either black or yellow stripes, and cannot climb trees? A parking lot.

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What did one ear say to the other ear? Did you hear that?

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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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What is an Anti-Joke? This is.

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A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

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A black guy and a few other white guys steal a keg. They then proceed to have an awesome party consisting of extreme inebriation and a massive orgy.

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A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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toast points

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I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had cancer.

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Why is this an anti-joke? Are you laughing? Exactly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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