A Jew, an Atheist, and a Muslim walk into a bar. They each drink a bottle, have a conversation, and leave.

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What did the robber take from the store? The managers dick

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IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO TAKE!

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What did the blind guy say when he walked past a fish store? Something smells fishy

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Roses are red Violets are fin I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

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After dinner, my girlfriend told me that we should go to my room to play with eachother's toys. It was very fun, I've always enjoyed the plastic dinosaur she decided to bring over.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, and mute child get for his birthday? Nothing, his parents hate him.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because dogs are absent-minded and they don't know any better.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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Why couldnt the boy lick his elbows? Because he lost his arms after he was violently beaten by his drunk father with a bat.

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how many rapists does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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Why didn't the blind girl say hi to anyone? Because she was blind.

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How many cows say moo? All of them

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What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

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What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

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Q:How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could would A: 26

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I can't remember if I have Azheimer's or not.

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knock knock! who's there? a fat salesperson here to deliver your supplements

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue A Face Like Yours Belongs In The ZOO. :o

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

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DOWN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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