What sounds really bad? An accordion.

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Geography Teacher: Bill, British Columbia agreed to join confederation when the government of Canada agreed to do what? Bill: To build a bridge to where my father is who is divorced with my mom.*tear* Geography Teacher: Is that really nesscary Bill? You have a detention.

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Who can you NOT apply the term "Gentle Giant" to? Dwarfs.

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is your refrigerator running? yeah oh, ok. just making sure your food doesn't spoil

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How did they wake up Lady Gaga? They p-p-poked her face p-p-poked her face......!

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How do you make someone cry Take all of their belongings

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GINGER PEOPLE

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How did the chicken cross the road? Chickens live in farms, they don't cross roads.

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

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if she is old enough to bleed, she probably wears tampons.

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how do you know your at a gay picnic. the hotdogs smell like shit.

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What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

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Do the Helen Keller... become mute, deaf, and blind.

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing. He's been dead for over three years.

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what do you call a black man being hung from a tree? -prejudice

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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A elementary school child was waiting at the bus stop for the bus to come. All of the sudden, the bus comes around the corner, pulls up, stops and he gets in.

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what's faster than an asian on a bicylce on payday? many things

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What do you call Eric Torres A furnace magnet

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?ti saw won troffe eht htrow t'nsaw yllaer siht

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I got it Nero, lets just be friends for now and forget about the work I do here and you there.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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