Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Haikus are awesome but sometimes they don't make sense hippopotamus

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A man walks into the market. He asks a young attractive employee in a smooth voice, "Do you have any honey here, baby?" The employee responds, "No sir. I'm sorry."

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder of a 7 year old child.

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Why do African-American people like fried chicken and watermelon? Because they are delicious food items.

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What did the the Priest do to the young alter boy? Blessed Him

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What killed the cat? Feline Leukemia

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what is a jews favorite holiday? the halocaust.

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You momma's so ugly your dad left her.

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Hi.

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If you say woman really fast it sounds like make me a sandwich.

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What did the Asian man do when he got lost in the desert? He ate his arms.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. They all miss.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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knock, knock. come in.

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Why did the Mexican put away the Marijuana? Because he was a Police Officer

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? neither has he

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Why does Polly want a cracker? Because meth is too intense.

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If a tree falls in the forest does anybody really care?

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There's a pair of siamese twins.....One of them's gay.

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What did the fish say? Moo

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general tso's broccoli

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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