What killed the cat? Feline Leukemia

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Whats big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a pine tree? A refrigerator

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder of a 7 year old child.

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Whats black and white and red / read all over * a bloody penquin * nun falling down the slairs * news paper * a clumsey panda

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What's the same between a plane a bird and a piece of celery? They all fly except the celery

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A fish and a human had a conversation. The conversation was not interesting because fish can't speak and the human felt awkward.

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Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None, now stop hallutinating about wood chuck.

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What did the black kid call the white kid? His name...

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Whats worse than jackass 2.5? Jackass 3-D

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....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

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What's worse than having a bad hair day? Vietnam.

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Penis in a butthole. Consentual Sex.

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Why was the T-Rex always sad? He couldn't clap his hands.

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What do you get when you cross a third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil? A third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil on it.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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These might be offensive Events: * The Black Plague * The Columbine High-School Massacre * The Enron Scandal * The Great Depression * Hurricane Katrina * The Iraq War * Krakatoa * Mt. Vesuvius * September 11 2001 * Titanic * World War I and II People: * Adolf Hitler * Al Capone * Attila the Hun * Blackbeard * Caligula * Charles Manson * Ed Gein * Elizabeth Bathory * Idi Amin * Ivan the Terrible * Jeffery Dahmer * Josef Fritzl * Josef Mengele * Joseph Stalin * Kim Il-sung * The Ku Klux Klan * Nero * Osama bin Laden * Pol Pot * Saddam Hussein * The Taliban * Torquemada * Vlad the Impaler Diseases: * AIDS * Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis * Bubonic Plague * Cholera * Chronic Diarrhea * Cystic Fibrosis * Dysentery * Ebola Virus * Gonorrhea * Herpes * Leprosy * Mad Cow * Malaria * Necrotizing Fasciitis * Polio * Rabies * Scurvy * Smallpox Films: * Antichrist * Audition * August Underground's Mordum * Blue Velvet * The Boy in the Striped Pajamas * Cannibal Holocaust * Goodbye Uncle Tom * Gummo * Happiness * Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer * I Spit On Your Grave * Irreversible * Men Behind the Sun * Mysterious Skin * Once Were Warriors * Requiem for a Dream * Salo or the 120 Days of Sodom * Schindler's List * Taxi Driver * Vase de Noces Misc: * Alcoholism * Anorexia Nervosa and eating disorders * Arson * Bestiality * Cannibalism * Capital punishment * Castration * Child abuse * Colonoscopies * Coprophilia/phagia * Drug abuse/addiction * Electric torture * The gassing of cats and dogs that have been abandoned * Genocide * Human sacrifice * Losing one's favorite childhood toy * Mustard gas * Necrophilia * Neo-Nazism * One's grandmother dying * Pedophilia * Racism * Rape * Religious intolerance * Stillborn babies * Suicide * Walking on broken glass * Working on weekends Peter1-8

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Siblings are like sharks, they usually stop biting you when you stab them in the eyes

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How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

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Q.What do you call a apple with a unibrow? A. A failed science experiment!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? neither has he

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whats worst than the holocaust? the holocaust times 2

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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's alright now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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