Roses are ??red Vilotes are ????blue I am single and now so are u???? no go move on I don't need u I have some weed and I'm willing to kill u

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How do you get a one armed man to fall out of a tree? Wave.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Two tigers, walking down Oxford St. One turns to the other & says, "Quiet for a Saturday, don't you think?"

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A elementary school child was waiting at the bus stop for the bus to come. All of the sudden, the bus comes around the corner, pulls up, stops and he gets in.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why did the homeless man get skin cancer Because he didn't have a home so the Suns rays had been directed towards him For 3 years and he was to poor to purchase Sun screen

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Q: Where does a hooker go for her footlong? A: Subway

thumb_up thumb_down +60

A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +58

A very unskillful basketball team enters a basketball tournament. They had little chance of winning and concluded with a loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What the kid with no arms get for christmas? A baseball and a glove to go through with his dad

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Knock Knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A black guy and a few other white guys steal a keg. They then proceed to have an awesome party consisting of extreme inebriation and a massive orgy.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Wanna hear a joke? Sure Niiiiggggeeee what is the last letterThe last letter is NOT and R! Its an R. Good job honey

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Does it not sound kinda fun to keep slapping someone that always turns the other cheek?

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

There is a Mexican and a Black guy in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican, you racist bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Whats the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? One is alive meanwhile the other is an object full of solid waste.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the guy throw a clock out his window? Because he was mentally unstable and needs help.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the man say after falling off a bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A seal walks into a club and gets hammered.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Terrorist walked into the bar, all dead, except for a small child. The police came and asked the boy: "Boy, how I survived the blast?" The boy answered: "I'm not a boy, I am broccoli"

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Women.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops