''thanks for giving me back the money i lent you david''-said nobody

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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A blonde walks into a bar... Typical

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A man finds a lamp on the beach so decides to rub it. Nothing happens.

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One morning a man was frustrated at the dining table. His wife ask "What's wrong?". He says "I can't fit this stupid puzzle pieces together." His wife asks "What's it a picture of?" The man says "A rooster" The wife says "Honey, put the cornflakes back in the cereal box." The man says "no".

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Imagine: You are trapped in a prizon cell with no doors, no windows, no furniture and completely sealed in with nothing. What do you do? Stop imagining!

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zebras

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Wanna here a funny joke Oh right. You can't hear

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S: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? P: They can chuck wood.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Knock,Knock Whos there ? Hola Holo who ? Holocaust Hahahaha

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they turned around and went home

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What looks like a dick? A penis

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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What did the compliemantry peanuts say to the man? "Nice tie."

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space is fun

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Goku: KAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Freezebox: HOLY SHI... Narrator: Will Goku ever finish his attack? Will Freezebox stand there like a fucking bitch afraid for the next 48 damn epiodes rather than take a step to the side? Will the "Zee" fighters ever do anything else but comment the trucking obvious and stop aborting the show with their sweat? Find out in the next episode of... Moral: DRAGONBULL ZHIT!

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What do you call a depressed nerd who plays WoW. Me....

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-How old are you, Dick? -I'm 30 centimeters old

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a man and a woman walk into a alley. They get mugged the man fights back out of pride and then gets stabbed the woman escapes and then goes to the police the man is then found two days later. *gasp* what a weird dream.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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kyle dosnt eat dick...

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"Hello?" "Is your refrigerator running??" "Yes..." "Oh. Well then have a nice day."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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