What did the dying boy get for Christmas? Presents

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hi

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What's a skateboard without wheels A snowboard

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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Kendall and Nick Fredick

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What did the girl with no hands get? Gloves.

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Yo momma's so dirty that she washes her hands with anti-bacterial soap.

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whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

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What is the difference between a doorknob? Toast.

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Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

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How do you push a blond off a cliff? Push here.

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Why did the man drink his own piss? Because he was Bear Grylls

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A woman walks out of the kitchen, she gets slapped by her sexist husband.

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Jacob Edwards has friends.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it tried but was hit by a truck at the halfway point.

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Chicken penis.

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A man walks into a bar with a sad-looking face. He orders a strong drink. The bartender asks him "What's wrong? You seem down." The man answers "Well, tough week. My wife was raped and murdered and my son was hit by a bus."

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son was captured by a sexual predator, and your daughter tried to run from them, and now she's under the wheels of the bus going round and round.

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what is the awesomest of them all? me

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Roses are gray. Violets are gray. I am a dog.

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What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree? My penis whilst im doing it.

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how do you kill a jew? inject him/her with gratuitous amounts of cyanide until they cease to have brain function and a pulse.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is a rapist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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