No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted to be cool, But I look like you

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What do you get when you cross a third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil? A third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil on it.

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas ? Because sadly his father is an alcoholic and cant support him nor his family.

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What do you call a man or woman who has sex, records it on video, and sells the recordings for money? A porn star.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Did you know it is impossible to say "Good eye might" and not sound Australian...

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why did the child go to school? Because he wants to succeed in life

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A black man walks out of a store with a receipt.

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My butt!!!!!!!!

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A flock of ostriches run into a mine field

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A 75 year old man walks into a college classroom and sits down. He suffers from severe dementia and realizes that he's been in the classroom before. A 75 year old man walks into a college classroom...

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An old lady walks into a bar. She was the janitor.

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What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

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guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

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Why did Lady Gaga arrive at the Grammy's in an egg? Because she was born that way.

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Guns don't kill people. Dangerous minorities do.

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how did little johnny die? i killed him

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What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

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What did the great political leader say in order to calm the riot. There were no definable words. He merely screamed as the riot swallowed him and tore him apart.

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how many rapists does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops