Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

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Q: What's different about a boy and a girl? A: Nothing. There used to be a notable difference but nowadays you have to strain in order to tell them apart.

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so there are 3 people who have heard of this magical cliff; theyre names are harry, dick, and joe. how the cliff works is that when you jump off you turn into whatever you say as you jump. first harry jumps off and yells plane, he turns into a plane and flys off. next dick jumps off and yells bird he turns into a bird and flys off. finally joe steps up to the cliff as he was walking he trips and falls as hes falling he yells HARRY DICK he than hits the ground and dies. everyone mourned for such a well respected individual.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Mr Webb *Hit keyboard loudly* -...

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why did billy drop his ice cream? he got hit by a plane that a loaf of bread was driving

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Why do women get pregnant? Beacuse it hurts and they deserve it.

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I dumped this chick who was cross eyed. I thought she was seeing other people.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a poodle? A satisfied elephant and a dead poodle.

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Boy: whats for dinner Kidnapper: beans and weiners

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Why did the chicken cross the road it didn't, it was hit by a bus.

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The Sentence Below is True The Sentence Above is False

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Me and me!!!! LOL! i'm a comedian!

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A black man walks into a bar. It turns out he is a notorious serial killer and he procedes to violently murder everyone in the bar.

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Why are there so many black men in the NBA? Because they trained hard and practiced regularly to get there..

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Knock Knock Who's there? *silence* Silence Who?

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A Guy walks into a Bar, has a good time and leaves

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Roses are red, That much is true, but Violet are purple, not ****ing blue

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Your mother is so black...because she recently suffered a horrible accident with fire and has irreparable skin damage.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a wet towel? The towel doesn't kick when you hang it

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Why didn't the girl put on her mascara? Because she was too poor to buy any.

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how many moms can you fit in a bathtub? as many as you want

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what happened to your gran you tell me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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